Do we have choices?

This is the view of my opposite neighbour when they open their backyard window - a view to "Air Hitam Forest Reserve" in the morning. When we bought the house in 2000 (based on plan only), I wanted to buy a unit with this view and clean fresh air, but my husband being a practical person worried about the security. After weighing the pros and cons, I compromised. We chose our current unit, surrounded by houses at all 4 corners - for security reason. True enough, prior to us moving in to this housing area, there were a few houses with these view were broken into. Although sometimes I still yearn to be able to sit in my study room with this fantastic view, I can still walk there anytime I wish to enjoy the view and we can still feel the cool breeze from the forest from our main door. In a way, we can still enjoy our security while enjoying the fresh air and view. Not too bad a choice actually.

Came across an article on "Downshift" in Pearl Magazine recently. That's exactly how I felt prior to my diagnostic of Leukemia. Spending too much of my time in office, coping with high level of stress (although I took time off to meditate, but it did not help much obviously), missing many precious family moments, feeling that something is missing, subconsciously I am not happy. I am a workaholic, since the day I started working, my life has been focusing on my job and my job only and nothing else is more important.

My current condition really forced me into "downshifting", it really hit me that life is too short to squander on relentless preoccupation with work, at the expense of what really matters (to borrow the words from the writer). Investopedia define "downshifting" - The act of reducing one's standard of living for an improved quality of life. The main objective is to improve quality of life with less stressful job, more spare time and being able to do things that's most important and valuable to you. In another word, a more balance work-life. Most of the time it involve, financial and lifestyle cut back. Again, we have to make the choice. At the moment, I am happy with the "forced" decision and thank the devine power for giving me the opportunity to enjoy this bliss.

Lately, I have heard a lot of my friends are all stress up with their pressure cooker work, a few days or even weeks of holiday were not able to get rid of the tiredness. The traffic jam are adding on to the additional stress level. Maybe it is time to consider "Downshifting". You can try by taking a few months leave to start off if your company allows. But please do not rush into this in a hurry, do weigh all the consequences and think through proplerly whether you can afford to downshif.

When we make a choice, most often than not we have to give up something that we like (nice to have) in order to choose what's most important to us at that point of time. Focus on the abundance in our life rather than the lack, it will help our decision better.

Learn to appreciate nature's beauty

This morning, when I checked out my backyard garden (only a couple of feet wide), found that we have fruits on our mulberry tree. I was thrilled. Every time, after pruning the tree, new shoots and fruits will grow. I guest it is like us, when we get rid of unwanted old behavior, then only we have room to learn new things and grow.

Look at the beauty of these mint leave, they are full of life under the early morning sunlight. I could not resist but to take a shot to share with all. Next time, when you pay me a visit, I can make you a cup of freshly pick mint tea.

Took back some "kacang botol" or 4 angled bean from hometown over the weekend, within one evening, the snails finished all except one of the new tree. Hopefully, the only one left will grow well and produce some fruits for us too. I picked up almost 20 snails last night, thinking of releasing them to the nearby forest (yes, I stayed near forest reserved) but amazingly, this morning when I woke up, none of them left in the plastic bag, all of them (big and small) have escaped without a trace except one. They too have strong surviving spirit and team spirit.

Well, only when we slowed down our pace we can appreciate what nature got to offer. All these while, I have been thinking of upgrading my home to a semi-D. Not realising that I am already in paradise, as long as I know how to appreciate it. Be contented! I woke up to morning bird chipping, clean fresh forest reserved air and a small garden, that's haven already. Most of the time, we were trained to think of acquiring what we do not have instead of appreciate what we owned. Learning how to appreciate what we have would help to reduce unnecessary stress. I will enjoy this tranquility while I can.

Turning Point ?

I believe every event happened for a reason. My recent leukemia diagnosis is meant for me to re-think what's my priority in life. Most of the time, we need to have a painful and significant event to really shake us and wake us up. For the past 7 months, I have been thinking of what I should be doing after my transplant and before doctor certified me fit to go back to work. Something meaningful, something that I always wanted to do but never have the time, energy and commitment to do so. Now is the time to fulfill those dreams and aspirations.........

First, I would like to travel, visit Europe if possible. Hopefully, things will be cheaper with the economy situation, so not too straining on my budget.

Time to give back to society. During the past months, based on my experience, anything good, consumed or used by cancer patients, prices would be hyped up as someone's profit.

• Bought a piece of head scarf (yes I lost all my hair, now very holly look) meant for cancer patient who losses their hair, it cost me RM85. I am determine to use my analytic skills to understand how it's sew and will reproduce it at lower cost to benefit the rest.
• I managed to work out with one Buddhist Organisation to set up a Wellness Center to source for products that's good for cancer patient and we would sell it at lower margin to benefit more people who suffer from cancer. (if you know any good product, please let us know, no direct selling, MLM please)

Thirdly, compile a healthy Malaysian style vegetarian cook book with no frying, less oil and less salt. Did a lot of readings on healthy cooking and eating habits in the hospital, thanks to all the lovely friends who bought me the books. Realised that most of Malaysian Vegetarian cooking focus more on frying and trying to imitate, replicate the taste of animal products cooking. I believe overall, we eat too much animal products on daily basis, more than what our body required, but too little on vegetables and grains. That's the reason why vegetarian cook book. Most of us have the perception that healthy food are tasteless, it need no be.

Lastly, assisting my spiritual teacher Rev. Mahinda in fund raising to acquire a piece of land for health rehab center and a stupa. Why Stupa? Stupa will house some of the fine Buddhist Relics and that will create strong good energy for the land that's required for the healing. We would like to encourage anyone (regardless of their religious background) who has the needs to make use of the Health Rehab Center, hence Stupa will be the only Buddhist Symbol on the top of the land.

Months prior to diagnosis, I was at the edge of breaking, stress up with economic situation, worrying about how to meet the year's sales number. Although I still love my job and the people in the team, life has been stressful. I was chewing my teeth most of the nights. I ignored all the symptoms. Well, it has never been a better time for me to realise my dreams and aspiration then now.